a new brick path, an unknown grey area
It would have been so easy to keep replaying last night’s argument in my mind over and over again this morning.
The funny bit was we were arguing like a couple when we are not. And the irony was we were arguing about issues that friends typically would not have bothered with, or need to deal with. Clearly, we are in an extreme grey area where there are no guidebooks for behaviors and expectations.
Perhaps at one period of my life, I would have replayed the events repeatedly, building my negative emotions up to a boil for another verbal battle. My fault, his fault, our fault. Throw in the finger pointing session, and both refusing to give way or take responsibility, and the entire drama drags on for another 2-3 days.
Yet at this point of my life, I stumbled upon a different path. I surprised myself when I did not find myself brooding over the argument last night. Neither was I too bothered when I did not hear a squeak from him, nor was I even waiting for a squeak. The thought of apology crossed my mind, but it was more of a reflex action than knowing what I should apologize for. So I did not, at least not yet until I figure out exactly what I should be apologizing for.
Some people might say, “your nonchalance only means you are not concerned at all.” Maybe, but at this point, personally I feel a marked difference. Maybe it is a better understanding of giving “space to think”, or if one might, “evaluation of both parties’ perspective when calmer.” Perhaps I no longer allow other people’s thoughts of me affect my own self-worth, attitude and mood for a new day.
Retrospectively, the argument was really rather anal. It started off rather innocently, but escalated when things got out of hand. We could probably both plead tiredness, and stubbornness.
Now, there are loose ends to tie up, only that I suspect neither of us knows how to tie this up.
The funny bit was we were arguing like a couple when we are not. And the irony was we were arguing about issues that friends typically would not have bothered with, or need to deal with. Clearly, we are in an extreme grey area where there are no guidebooks for behaviors and expectations.
Perhaps at one period of my life, I would have replayed the events repeatedly, building my negative emotions up to a boil for another verbal battle. My fault, his fault, our fault. Throw in the finger pointing session, and both refusing to give way or take responsibility, and the entire drama drags on for another 2-3 days.
Yet at this point of my life, I stumbled upon a different path. I surprised myself when I did not find myself brooding over the argument last night. Neither was I too bothered when I did not hear a squeak from him, nor was I even waiting for a squeak. The thought of apology crossed my mind, but it was more of a reflex action than knowing what I should apologize for. So I did not, at least not yet until I figure out exactly what I should be apologizing for.
Some people might say, “your nonchalance only means you are not concerned at all.” Maybe, but at this point, personally I feel a marked difference. Maybe it is a better understanding of giving “space to think”, or if one might, “evaluation of both parties’ perspective when calmer.” Perhaps I no longer allow other people’s thoughts of me affect my own self-worth, attitude and mood for a new day.
Retrospectively, the argument was really rather anal. It started off rather innocently, but escalated when things got out of hand. We could probably both plead tiredness, and stubbornness.
Now, there are loose ends to tie up, only that I suspect neither of us knows how to tie this up.
<< Home