low, and hating it.
If I tell you I am seriously in crisis mode now, would you believe this? Honestly, neither can I. It just took me a few weeks to spiral into crisis from complacency. A few weeks when I was still gloating over how easy it was to dip my hands into that huge pot of money and take them out consistently. Now looking back, it is almost ironic.
The good or bad thing about trading for a living is .. if you ever get complacent and lazy .. it shows up rather soon. The ego starts rearing its ugly head .. you start thinking you are the master of the universe. And then, you hardly realise it .. but you start making really bad and horrendous trades. The first few ones, you can look past. The next few ones, you try not to let it bother you. Afterall, you are the master of the universe. And then, before you even know what hit you, officially, you are very near blowing yourself up again. You know, no matter what others joke about my deep pockets and whatever.. I feel financial pain as much as the next person reading this.
And it sure hurts a lot, together with the ego.
Of course, this crisis mode realisation does not only impact my trading. I just took a long hard look at my room, and the crisis mode hit my room and life in general as well. I have piles of stuff piling as high as half a metre. I have mail unopened, stuff unseen to. And all these while .. I am not exactly sure what I have been doing at all. Really ... aiyoh!
I have just cleared up my room a little. Just a little .. and I am going to have to sort through my mail after this. Then, then ... time out for trading till next Monday. I can never lose if I simply do not trade. I simply need to regroup a little mentally. And a run later in the evening will probably help kick off this mental spring-cleaning a little as well.
I cannot believe how low I have allowed myself to sink. Even if it is not obvious to outsiders, it is now very obvious to me. And just for a moment, I really detest this lowly side of me.
The good or bad thing about trading for a living is .. if you ever get complacent and lazy .. it shows up rather soon. The ego starts rearing its ugly head .. you start thinking you are the master of the universe. And then, you hardly realise it .. but you start making really bad and horrendous trades. The first few ones, you can look past. The next few ones, you try not to let it bother you. Afterall, you are the master of the universe. And then, before you even know what hit you, officially, you are very near blowing yourself up again. You know, no matter what others joke about my deep pockets and whatever.. I feel financial pain as much as the next person reading this.
And it sure hurts a lot, together with the ego.
Of course, this crisis mode realisation does not only impact my trading. I just took a long hard look at my room, and the crisis mode hit my room and life in general as well. I have piles of stuff piling as high as half a metre. I have mail unopened, stuff unseen to. And all these while .. I am not exactly sure what I have been doing at all. Really ... aiyoh!
I have just cleared up my room a little. Just a little .. and I am going to have to sort through my mail after this. Then, then ... time out for trading till next Monday. I can never lose if I simply do not trade. I simply need to regroup a little mentally. And a run later in the evening will probably help kick off this mental spring-cleaning a little as well.
I cannot believe how low I have allowed myself to sink. Even if it is not obvious to outsiders, it is now very obvious to me. And just for a moment, I really detest this lowly side of me.
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