What the future may bring
Once in a while, I stopped and listened. It sounded all nice and airy-fairy. Words are just so much simpler to accept than to use your life to act on those wisdom. Afterall, just listening do not require much effort and courage.
And then, when one eventually found the courage or desperation to act on those wisdom, they would take that leap of faith off the cliff and finally listen to their hearts. Their hearts, not the social norms around them or the expectations imposed on them. So once in a while, like all personal decisions that changes people's lives, I stopped my tracks on this journey of life and headed off in a totally different direction. I think I am still in free-falling state of matters now. But it has been a good experience. At least the forces of winds do not seem to be pushing me to the rocky grounds where I may crash to pieces.
I don't deny that there are always times when you simply just wake up on the wrong side of the bed and wonder "What the hell ... " Thank god those feelings do not make regular appearances. But the impact of those self-doubts do erode the confidence that I had when I leaped off the cliff.
And the wonderful thing about life is its randomness of it. You never know how the next story or the next article that you read would impact your thoughts, your life and your decisions.
"Stay hungry. Stay Foolish."
Steve Job's Commencement address to Standford University did hit me in the appropriate spot, in the areas of self-doubts. Of course, you need to make a distinction between self-doubts and plain stupidness. But it is a fine line, and hard to distinguish at times. But at the end of the day, if you know the reason why you are doing what you are doing and why you are following your heart instead of social norms, it may make that distinction easier.
I especially like the part about connecting the dots in life.
"You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever."
Wisdom after the fact is not wisdom. Courage after the event is not courage.
We can never know what the future brings. We can either retreat and never make the decisions or choices, or we can find some strength and act on our choices. There are always choices in life. You can always choose to do, or choose not to do. Just leave the regrets in the drawers every morning. You can only trust in your own choices in life and that you will make the best out of whatever life throws along your way. As the saying goes, if life throws you lemons, you can either try to make lemonade or just complain about the sourness of those lemons.
The truth is, we never know what the future brings.
And in times of self doubts, somehow knowing that dots will only connect themselves when you look back is comforting. Even though I may not know exactly how the road ahead leads and how is whatever I am doing and learning now going to have any practical application in my life in the future.
I do not know, and neither does anyone around me. But yes, the dots will connect themselves. Perhaps 10, 15 years down the road, I would have an answer to this.
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