我还记得

人忙起来，时间就只能用流失来形容。也不知道是好事还是坏事。不过有人跟我说过，只要你觉得充实，那就够了。我想是吧。这个月我很少做笔记，也很少想事。假如要我预期未来一年，我想会和这个月很相似。忙，充实，偶尔失望，不过还是能从头再来。

或许我的26岁会和25 有很大的不同。

我希望是。

我的25很好。只是希望26会更成功，有更多别人看得到的成功。

这一个月来，我脑海里有很多画面。一些假如我成功，成功，再成功后的画面。是目标，是激发，更是一个未来的自己。一个我希望能到达的自己。

我不能不察觉到我现在的梦想和画面和3年前的有如此大的差别。是天与地的差别。是太阳与月亮的差异。是小女人与胸怀梦想的不同。

是好，还是坏？

不知道。不过，我还记得那时，只要是能他一起变老，和他在一起，就是很美好的一切了。当然，一厢情愿是痴人说梦话。不过，曾经我的渴望就只是如此。很久以后，不再难过以后，我又为自己设了新的梦想画面。

为自己前进，是孤独了一点。可幸的是少了孤单感。我还会偶尔想到那个小女人的另一自己。还记得以前的那种愿望。或许很久以后，会有个人和我一起圆了那个梦想。现在，那种两个人的幸福，只能是从前，只能属于“我还记得”。

累

感觉很累。这不是好事。累时，我会胡思乱想，做什么我都会很想放弃。向现实低头，或许这样，我可以从新来过。可是向现实地头是放弃，还是暂停？低头代表什么？懦弱，还是承认自己或许有需要弥补的地方？还是只是让自己休息一会儿，然后再出发？

明天又是一天。
明天，我从新开始。

Birthday thoughts

It is the afternoon on my 26th b-day. After numerous b-day wishes and more social appointments made later for the week, it is now at this point when I am sitting down on the staring watching my little doggie and I thought "Okay missy, 26. How?"

Earlier, I was playing a strategy game on my PC. I laid down the foundations, then enemies attacked and I shut off the game. This is the way I play games. I enjoy starting them off, but not quite defending them nor attacking anyone. Build it, have glorious foundations, but I am not so good on attacking and being aggressive. I always become the sitting duck.

Maybe I am wasting time on less-important things. Who cares if my cities look beautiful. No one wins the game by building beautiful cities. Can it defend? Can it attack? How do I want to win? Am I winning?

There are many ways to win in the game. But I never seem to be able to decide upfront how I want to win. Not exactly focused on my task of winning.

Perhaps I have an issue with 'FOCUS'. In games, and maybe in life. Little things do distract me. I know I always start off well and good. But I just lose whatever advantages I have along the way as I muddle along.

I have ended enough games as the loser to know that this sucks. More importantly, I want to hold on to my good start and leverage on them. And this applies to both my game, and my life.

At 26, I have no idea how my life may play out. And I am sure it will be a series of goals and purpose as I muddle along. I don't mind the muddling, and once in a while getting lost. But I just do not want my life to end up the way my games do - squandering all advantages and good cards that life has offered me.

There are certain situations when it is okay to get lost and feel your way around. But there are also times when it is an activity that might just ultimately cost me the whole win. The devil is in knowing exactly what situation I am in.

So, at 26 .. here I am .. pondering on what sort of situations I should just get serious about and just pound hard on them, and what are the causes that I can afford to slow down a little and muddle a little.

Time to take stock ...
and this, on a hot balmy afternoon ...

Hello world! And happy 26th to myself ..

金玉良言

“孤单不一定不快乐 ... 得到不一定能长久

转身不一定最软弱 ... 犹豫不一定别无选择

逃避不一定躲得过 ... 面对不一定最难受

你能找到理由难过 ... 你也一定能找到快乐”


说得太好了 ...

新婚快乐

忙碌中，平凡中，能找到感动。
就算是一时，还是很感激。
看到自己朋友如梦幻般的婚礼。很感动。

我祝福你们。
新婚快乐。
结婚是一辈子生活最容易的一步。

希望你们未来有一辈子的忍耐，包容和疼爱。
两个人，是可以很幸福的。